My Real Name
by karawalters
Summary: An AU where wonder woman was born a boy. Rejected by the amazons our prince steals a boat and crashes in man's world. Danger and dysphoria await our dear transgender wonder woman.
1. Chapter 1

my real name

My mother often told me the circumstances of how I came into being. She prayed and prayed to the gods to give her a daughter, she even went so far as to sculpt the perfect daughter from clay. After years and years of begging the gods finally relented and gave her a child. But being the capricious and cruel gods that they can be I was born a boy on an island where no man is allowed.

The amazon children refused to play or train with me growing up shouting "stay away little prince" to drive home that I wasn't one of them. I prayed to the gods to make me one of them, like all the other girls. My mother would tell me there was a reason the gods made me a boy and I shouldn't wish to be a girl just to appease others."You are wonderful as you are my son." But it didn't change how I felt. I never stopped praying. As I got older my body grew. The amazons grew into lovely and beautiful women while I did not. My shoulders were much broader than theirs, my jaw much more square my voice so deep and thundering.

Finally the eve of my sixteenth year I had enough, I snuck out of my home and stole a boat and sailed away from the island.

Much like everything in my life, it was a struggle. Stealing the boat was easy, I had long since memorized the guards and lookouts movements and timing. What I hadn't counted on was the rage of the ocean and sky. "I'm never going back to that cursed island!" I shouted at the wind and rain as I pulled the rope to fight against the storm's rage. The waves tossed my small vessel about like a toy. "Why don't you pick on someone else!" lightning struck the water next to me. My ears screamed at me drowning out the raging winds. I struggled to my knees on the deck to try and regain some semblance of control when I saw a towering tornado of water coming straight for me. I quickly tied my arm to the boat with one of the riggings. "I'm not going back." I growled through my teeth. The world inverted as my boat, now nearly completely upside down, road the outside of the vicious spiral. I dangled helplessly, one hand on the wheel trying in vain to correct my course, to free myself from the gods' wrath.

I awoke later with waves lapping at my face the wreckage of my ship surrounding me, the wheel still tied to my forearm. I untied myself from the wheel and tried to salvage what I could from my ship. My bag of food somehow survived the experience. I took the rope and tied the bag closed and slung it over my back. I had enough to survive for a few days at least before I absolutely need to hunt for my own food, more than enough time to get the lay of the land.

Walking away from the shore, I was immediately struck by how alien man's world is. Monoliths of steel and glass towered over the city which somehow managed to echo the sounds of the city. The citizens stared at me and to be fair, I stared at them. They were dressed in such a strange manner. "Hey buddy nice skirt." one strange man commented pushing passed me. I realized quickly if I was going to live here I'd need to blend in, however strange they may dress.

I wandered the streets for nearly an hour before I found a store that sold clothes. "Can I help you, sir?" It was like an arrow in my chest.

"I need clothes." The woman almost smiled at my obvious statement. "I don't really know what everyone is wearing these days." I offered by way of explanation. This seemed to satisfy as she took my hand and pulled me to a section of the store.

"Well, this is what most guys your age are wearing." Their material seemed very durable, nothing that would stop a blade but still strong. The sign above read "Jeans half off".

"Half off of what?"

She smiled, then quickly hid it away, it was a very beautiful smile. "Half off of the total price." she whispered. I looked around the store, there seemed to be only one other boy in the store accompanied by his grandfather.

"Isn't that bad for business?"

"You'd be surprised." she smiled, again, this time giggling softly. I felt she was trying not to offend me, but found my strange behavior amusing.

"You see, when companies like this one buy too much merchandise they sell it for cheaper, but still more than it cost them to buy it or keep it stored. Though some stores also raise their prices several weeks before the sale, then sell for the original price." The boy confidently walked over to us "Though that's your less scrupulous stores. Not this chain I'm sure."

The salesgirl wanted to say something, but thought better of it and rolled her eyes instead. "Can I help you find anything?" she asked instead.

"Oh, I'm just browsing." the boy returned to his grandfather when he cleared his throat leaving us alone. He was very cute though his eyes lingering on the salesgirl told me where his interests lie.

"So what's your style?" she resumed as if nothing ever happened.

"Style? I know many styles and am proficient in all weapons." The girl stared at me like I had grown another head. "What is your style?" I asked.

"I'm casual punk myself." Now it was my turn. What was casual punk? "We'll find something, come on."

She held many shirts to my bare chest and sent me to a smaller room to try them on. "How do they fit?" she asked.

"They are pretty thin and offer no protection." I could almost hear the dissappointment on the other side of the door. "But they are not so restrictive I cannot fight in them. So they will do."

"Great. I'll get you some more and ring you up." she smiled, I could hear it in her voice, as she left. In the small changing room, I stood before a mirror, with my hair pulled back in a tight pony tail I looked no different than that boy out there, but where I enjoyed looking at him I did not enjoy looking at myself. Perhaps the salesgirl even thought I was as handsome as I thought that boy was but...I saw over my shoulder someone had left a beautiful blue dress.

It was so long and elegant and soft. Not like the armor I wore back home, not even as soft as my mother's own dresses. The craftsmen of man's world were very talented indeed. I just had to pick it up and feel it against my body. I imagine how she would feel wearing this dress to some party dancing with her love. Out of curiousity, I lowered my hair and faced the mirror. That horrible thing told me the horrible truth.

The door swung open it was the salesgirl, she seemed shocked for a moment, "I need the tags from your shirt and jeans." she finally said.

I tore the tags and handed them to her along with the dress "Your people are very skilled." I mumbled emberrassed. Like I had done something wrong. Mother had caught me doing the same thing years ago. She sat me down and told me I shouldn't try to be like everyone else around me. I should try to be me and be happy.

I bumped into the boy on my way to the register "Excuse me." The boy had a strange look on his face like he was trying to size me up for a fight. Many of the Amazons gave me similar looks growing up. But he lacked the anger theirs held.

At the counter the salesgirl smiled as she bagged my new clothes minus the ones she allowed me to wear out. "That'll be 145.99." I had no idea what she meant, but I reached into my bag which luckily still held the pieces of gold I stashed away and placed a handful of pieces on the counter.

"Is this enough?" She just stared at me.

"Put it on my card." the boy slid a small card on the counter.

I turned to face him"Thank you. I'm not from around here."

He chuckled "That much is obvious." He eyed me again. "So where do you hail from that still uses gold coins?"

"An island pretty far from here actually." Yes, I smiled, it was the first time that someone besides my mother seemed to take an interest in me and boy was he cute. His dark hair and his smile even though he tried to hide it for some reason. "But even so I can't let you pay for my clothes."

"It's my pleasure. Always happy to help out those in need." The sales girl cleared her throat and handed his card back to the boy, I caught a glimpse of the card it was engraved with numbers and a name. "My name is Bruce Wayne. But you already knew that, didn't you." After a short pause, he finished "My reputation usually proceeds me." he laughed not hiding his smile but there was still something wrong.

I smiled back at him. Boy was it infectious.

"So what do they call you?"

"...Most people call me prince." Not my real name obviously, but I hated it just as much. Again the salesgirl cleared her throat and handed me my bags. "Thank you." I suddenly remembered who I was. I quickly left the store.

Finding an empty alleyway I shoved my new clothes in my bag. I suppose the gods were not through tormenting me. "Brother, I'm so glad I found you." I didn't recognize the voice, but I recognized the symbol brand on his arm.

"Gargarean."

"Amazon. Well, barely." He stepped out of the shadows still clad in his armor. It wasn't too different from my own. I never thought about where my armor came from, perhaps because I already knew. "Our father told me you escaped the island."

"I have no father."

Gargarean smiled "Of course you do that breathes has a father."

"Well, I don't. I was molded from clay."

Gargarean laughed. "Is that what they told you?"

Something about him angered me so, perhaps it was my upbringing that all men were evil, or that his snarking smile possibly hid secrets about myself, or that his face reminded me of my own. "If you have something to say then speak Gargarean!" I did not even bother hiding my anger.

He merely laughed, he seemed to enjoy my anger and confusion. "Everything that lives has a father, even the gods, amazon." He pushed by me bumping into my shoulder as he did. "Follow me amazon." I stood there with my new items, Gargareans were just for reproduction, not to be trusted and certainly not to be followed by amazons. But then amazons were women and I..."What else have you got to do?"

Relenting I followed him for several blocks, no one seemed to bat an eye at me, but I still felt out of place in this world. Gargarean had no such feelings or if he did, he did not show them. We walked a great distance before we came to a tall building. The inside was palatial with beautiful marble flooring and great stone columns. "Good afternoon Mr. Griffith."

"How's it going, Jimmy?"

Apparently the people here knew him, why was a Gargarean in man's world and why was he known at all? He tried to get me to step into a small boxed off room with only one exit. "No."

"It's thirty-five flights of stairs!" he complained.

"Are all Gargarean's as easily winded as you?"

The stairwell was not much larger, but at least it offered more escape routes should I require them. Surprisingly, I did not. Gargarean or Griffith, as he apparently was called, lead me into a beautiful home that put the first floor to shame. The massive window directly across from the entrance showed the beautiful city below against the setting sun.

"Yeah, the women love the view." He laughed as he stepped into the kitchen area, quickly returning to the window with me, handing me a glass bottle.

"What is root beer?"

"One of the finest beverages you'll find in 'man's world'." He sat on the large leather couch drinking from his bottle.

"Why have you brought me here Griffith?"

"I know a guy, an oracle let's say, who told me I would meet you in that alley."

"I know what a seer is."

"So anyway, he tells me you're needed here and you'll play an important role in man's world yada yada yadda." He threw his legs up on the black table in front of him.

"What exactly is that?"

"You know the problem with seers, all vague and interpretive. He just mentioned a looming darkness that threatened the world. And you were needed to put an end to it."

"How?"


	2. Chapter 2

"How am I supposed to do that if you don't even know what the threat is?"

He shrugged drinking from his bottle once more. I decided to join him and have a drink while I thought about my next move.

"This world is not what it appears to be little amazon." He stood with me at the window. "Look at them down there. They go about their lives and very few know of the wonders around them." He held a small rectangular object in his hand. It was like the window before me only much smaller. He touched the tiny window with his hand and it changed to an image of a man lifting one of the larger vehicles the people on the street road in.

"What is this?"

"He is as strong as Hercules and as fast as Hermes."

"Is he a demi-god?"

"Not much is known about him. Apparently photos of him are very rare."

"Well, he certainly is no son of Zeus." He seemed to notice my small jab at his heritage. "What is this?"

"It's a phone." He sighed and sat down once again. "You have a lot to learn little amazon." He spent the rest of the night teaching me about man's world. Being raised on an island closed off from the rest of the world seriously limits your knowledge of technology.

Griffith allowed me to "crash" at his apartment for a while. Sleep did not come easy to me that night, from the paranoid fear that he might murder me in my sleep to my curiosity of man's world. I spent time on his laptop searching the internet to discover more about this world until nearly dawn.

I was awakened at noon by a strange woman screaming. "Oh my god I'm sorry!"

I quickly covered my naked self with the blanket Griffith had given me. "Who are you?"

"I'm Caroline, I'm 's maid. You are?"

"They call me prince. I'm a...Griffith let me stay the night."

"Mr. Griffith is a very kind man." I have never heard of his kind being kind, but then they were supposed to live on an island similar to themyscira so maybe he was cast out or a runaway like me. Caroline was a beautiful woman with long black hair off setting her copper skin.

"Would you like some help?"

"Oh no, I'll be fine."

"Really, it's no trouble. Back home, I used to clean stables, I'm sure I can handle whatever Griffith leaves behind." She laughed and flashed her beautiful smile.

"Okay."

I spent the next hour mopping the floor, making up his bed, and scrubbing Griffith's toilets while Caroline washed clothes and dishes and vacuumed. We met again at the big window where we washed the window and spoke about our lives. She was a tsalagi woman who was working her way through college to become a chef. "You know, I think we are finished." she sighed happily. "Thank you, this would have taken me hours to do without your help. I actually have time to relax."

"I'm glad I could help."

"Since I have some free time would you, maybe, like to get some coffee or an ice mocha?"

"I don't know."

"Please? I really would like to pay you back for helping me out, but I don't have any money."

At the coffee shop she bought me an iced coffee, apparently they do not sell root beer. "Hmm, delicious!" I shouted excitedly. My shout drew the attention of the gathered customers, reminding me of who I am once more.

"I know right?" she giggled.

"So..why do you want to be a chef?"

"I've always loved cooking, You take a bunch of ingredients that are just fine on their own and put them together in a big pot and mix them up with love and you've got something better than before." She sipped at her vente , "What about you? What do you want to be when you get out of school?"

School? But before I could bother to think about pushing further the glass behind me shattered. Not knowing what it was I dove forward covering Caroline, shielding her with my body.

I was okay, Caroline was okay though scared out of her mind. I stood and ran through the now open window to find the man Griffith had shown me earlier fighting a pale white man. He didn't seem like much of a fighter. When the pale man threw the other into yet another window and laughed, I decided to finish it before anyone else got hurt.

"You think you can stop the main man?!" the pale man laughed at the other who he had thrown. He was enjoying inflicting pain on people and he didn't care who else got in the way. "What in-" He shouted as I lifted the main man into the air and suplexed him into the road with a satisfying crunch. I made quick work of crippling his leg.

By the time I had finished with the main man, the thrown man stood up, dusting the glass from his hair. "Stay back." He shouted.

"Don't worry, I took care of him."

"No you don't-" Before he could, finished the main man picked me up by my throat.

"You think you can frag lobo? THE MAIN MAN?!"

"Let him go lobo!"

"Make me!" he shouted like a gravelly voiced child.

A quick elbow crushed lobo's nose loosening his grip around my neck. I spun around and kicked him in the face before flipping backwards, landing next to the unnamed man. I don't know how he was still standing, I once laid out a charging Minotaur with that kick. "Any ideas?"

"I have one, but not with all these innocent people about."

Lobo began swinging a large hook on a chain and threw the chain at us. Before he could land his strike, we jumped out of the way. On his next swing, he caught my arm, the chain wrapping around it. Trapped in a tug of war against a man with ungodly strength was not what I expected when I woke up this afternoon. Neither did he expect me to allow him to pull me forward. The momentum carried me to him, my uppercut launched him high into the sky. Whatever the other man's move was I hope he was a good shot.

In the next moment the sky was scorched by fire that struck lobo straight through him and beyond. I see now why he didn't want to use it with innocents behind lobo. The man collapsed next to me. I don't know who he was but I felt he did not want these strangers to know either.

He awoke back at Griffith's apartment, the only place I knew was safe for sure. The irony did not escape me. "Where?"

"You're safe." I informed him. "After we beat the lobo you passed out."

"Yeah, heat vision leaves me drained." He straightened his hair as he sat up. "Thanks."

"I got the feeling you did not want anyone examining you too closely."

"Not yet. Right now it's best if I just stay hidden." I could not stop myself from laughing, apparently neither could he. This was what I had dreamed of since I was a child, laughing with a fellow warrior after the battle. Something I would never get with the amazons I feared. "I'm Clark Kent." He finally said when we both calmed down.

"I'm...they call me prince."

"If you don't mind, I'll be heading out now."

"Sure thing."

"Hey, can I get your number?"

"My number?"

"Yeah, in case I need backup again."

"I do not have a phone."

"Oh." With speed like Hermes he stood up and tore a piece of paper off of the refrigerator and wrote his number on it. "Whenever you get one call me or shoot me a text. We can hang out."

"Thank you. I will." He nodded and left, preferring to leap out of the window to the next building rather than use the door.

Griffith returned hours later. "How was your day?" He asked coyly.

"Fine. Fought a very strange looking man along side the warrior you showed me yesterday."

"You really can't be so cavalier about this."

"Why not? Does man's world not have heroes?"

Griffith sighed, pinching his nose. "Look, just try to stay low. In the meantime, my seer got in contact with me. There seems to be some trouble you're supposed to fix."

"I need a phone."

"What?" He seemed taken aback by my sudden demand.

"I need a phone with which to communicate across long distances to people who are not in the room with me."

"I know how a phone works." He sighed again before handing me a piece of paper, "Alright, I'll get you a phone before you get back."

"Thank you, Griffith. You are not as my mother told me your kind would be."

"Thanks, I think."

"Is this the world ending threat?"

"No, just a monster. Shouldn't take you more than five minutes, ten tops."

"Hah! I will vanquish it in one!"

Below the city I had to ride the subway. I enjoyed watching the people enjoying their lives, some laughing and smiling, some going to and from work. I found myself staring at this beautiful girl around my age on her phone, she tried to hide her beautiful laughing smile. I wondered what she was looking at, the way her eyes lit up I imagine it must have been someone she loved had sent her a funny "text". I thought of Clark and smiled. I thought of my mother and my heart grew heavy, how she must be worried about me. Or was she happy to be rid of me?

A voice came over the P.A. The station where so many had been taken from was coming up. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, focus on the battle ahead. I took the bag that Griffith had given me and walked to the final car, save for a few sleeping men it was empty. I opened the door and let in the howling wind before I leapt off of the train. I used the flashlight from my bag and searched around me for the entrance. Some monster had dug itself a nest in the tunnels and lured humans in, never to be seen or heard from again. "Life comes at you fast" I read aloud, wondering what the painted words meant as I entered.

The cave-like floor were littered with bones that had been chewed clean by whatever creature was doing this. I wish the seer had given more details so I could have prepared better. Whatever this was, it believed itself to have caught me unawares as it moved behind me. Slowly I reached into my duffle bag. Only to be thrown by whatever was behind me. I crashed into the wall breaking it against my strong body. It was fast before I could stand I was knocked to my feet again, the broken chunks of wall cutting into my body. "Hera!" I shouted as I dug a glass like piece of rock out of my stomach.

The beast hissed. "She's not here to help you child!" The female voice echoed around me. Before I could react her claws cut my chest like a knife. "She has never cared for you!" Another cut to the back of my shin dropped me. "She hates you!" I dove to my duffle bag and ripped the sword from it's sheath. Before I could swing it, she had shattered it into pieces. "She wishes to kill you!"

She was fast, strong, and had the home field advantage, I had to change something or I would wind up with the other bones. I raced to the entrance as fast as I could. Before I could make it out into the tunnel I felt her hand around my shirt as she threw me back into the cave. I slid to a stop when I crashed into a podium and a large shield landed on my head. I could hear the skittering of her feet on the ground. Thinking quickly I grabbed the shield slamming it into her with all my might. That's when I saw her for the first time. She had the face of a Goddess. It was then I realized she was a Goddess. "Aletheia? What are you doing here of all places?" She hissed again, her forked tongue flicked at the air. "What has happened to you?" She ran at me again, but my blow must have stunned her because she was now much slower. I easily sidestepped her, tripping her with my foot. Quickly I wrapped my arms around her, trapping her. "What has happened to the Goddess of truth?!" I demanded. She broke free, slicing my arm and pushing me across the room where I crashed through what must have been her bed chambers. Inside I found a weapon that may destroy her covered in a shroud. As she came in I tore the shroud from the mirror and she was forced to face the truth in her mirror stopping her cold in her tracks.

Her fabled mirror never lied, it showed the unabashed truth inside for all the good and bad that it was. Very few could take the naked truth. I saw her body shift and change, gone was the angelic face she showed the world leaving only the twisted monster beneath. Her body had become hard and sharp, her angelic face a distorted mess of what it once was. She fell to her knees weeping. She had hidden the truth for so long even she had begun to believe the lie. Through her tears she looked at me, for once without rage. "Thank you." And her body simply faded away.

I stood over her where her body had been. "You are welcome." They had stopped believing. The mortals. They stopped believing in her, stopped worshipping the truth and she was forced to survive in the only way she could. I turned to pick up the shield and in doing so my eyes saw the mirror. Standing there, holding my shield, was a woman.


	3. Chapter 3

My real name 3

It felt like an eternity that I stared into the mirror. Who was this woman in the mirror? Why was she dressed like me? Why did she move when I moved? Why was I not her? My blood boiled when I realized her small delicate hands were not my own. I never wanted to destroy someone more in my life. By the Gods did I try. No matter how I struck the mirror it refused to stay broken. It reforged itself with every piece of glass, every piece of wood and splinter. When I could not destroy the mirror I turned my rage upon the rest of the room. Sitting in the remains of the destroyed room I wondered if this is how Aletheia felt. That accursed mirror haunted my mind while I had to live with the truth of what I was.

I took my shield, a spoil of battle, and placed the now wrapped mirror in the duffle as best I could and made my way back to Griffith's apartment. The words of my mother filled my mind like an errant mist as that woman plagued me. "A warrior does not hide from the truth. A warrior embraces it and stands tall." What did it mean? I accepted the truth long ago. The truth cannot change. Can it?

Griffith was asleep when I returned but I was not about to wait until morning. I found an odd satisfaction when I smashed the mirror upon his floor, shaking him awake. In an instant, he was out of bed holding a dagger. "I see you have not forgotten everything it means to be a warrior." I don't know why it felt so good to torment him.

"Fucking hell, Prince." He sighed sitting back on his soft bed. "You don't know what it means to be a warrior."

"I know a warrior does not hide in an ivory tower while people suffer! I know a warrior does not abandon his people!" I thought back to the room in Aletheia's cave.

"You mean like you did?"

"I..I did not abandon them." I do not know what angered me more, that he was so calm in the wake of my rage or that he was right. "I found something strange." I pointed at the mirror which had already reforged itself as I sat upon his bed.

Griffith unwrapped the foul thing and I turned away from it not wanting to see its lies again. "What? It's a mirror."

"It is no ordinary mirror." I spat sharply. "When Aletheia looked in it she changed."

"Aletheia?"

"She was your monster. She...did what she had to to survive."

"You killed a God?"

"No! That so-called mirror did. She feared it!"

"How? I mean, I am great and all, but I'm not stronger than a God and this thing hasn't killed me."

"When I looked into it, it showed me..something. I think maybe that is what killed her."

"What?"

"A woman."

"Lucky." Griffith sat the mirror on top of a small bookshelf before sitting down next to me.

"Show me the woman."

"No."

"Why not? The big brave amazon wouldn't be scared would he?"

"I am not an amazon!" I shouted finally looking at that blasted mirror. "Please," I begged. "I can not look at her again. It hurts too much."

He left into the walk-in closet before quickly returning carrying a tie. "I have to see this woman but you don't."

With my eyes covered Griffith took my hand and lead me to the mirror. I shut my eyes tight as I neared the mirror once more. I could not look at her once more and see how wonderful and beautiful she was. "Wow," Griffith said in a hushed breath, clearly seeing her.

"You see her?"

"Yeah, she's amazing." He was silent for several minutes.

"Griffith?" What if he turned to ash like Aletheia?

As I reached for the tie I heard his voice once again. "I'm here. I don't feel anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, I don't feel like I'm dying or hurt. Other than I think I'm in love I don't feel anything." I felt him move my hand around, clearly finally catching on to the fact she moved as I did. "Amazing. She's even wearing the tie."

I walked away tearing the tie from my face and resumed sitting on his bed. "Then it must be me she is after. Perhaps this is what she did to Aletheia. She drove her to madness. Made her into a monster. What will she turn me into?"

"Look," he sighed wearily. "you're tired, I'm tired. We're not going to get any more answers tonight. Go to sleep, try to rest and we'll discuss it tomorrow. Or, later rather."

I was awakened by the sound of a large thud right by my head. Instinctively I kicked at my attacker, only to have my foot caught in Griffith's hand. "Payback's a bitch, huh?"

"You son of a goat!"

"Yeah well same to you." Griffith moved my foot away and sat next to me, picking up the source of the noise, a very large book. "Turns out there's a lot of legends when it comes to mirrors." He flipped the book open to a page he had marked. "You've heard about vampires? Of course not. One legend says the reason they don't have a reflection is that they have no soul, and a mirror reflects a person's soul."

"So this woman's soul is possessing me?"

Griffith ran his fingers through his uncombed hair. "That's one way to look at it."

"And the other?"

"Why does it hurt to look at her?"

"I do not know."

"You must have some idea."

"I really do not."

Griffith held a small mirror in his hand up to my face. My own face stared back at me. I don't know which reflection I hated more. "I checked before you woke up. If it was just a case of being possessed by some beautiful woman that we could see in a mirror we could see it in any mirror."

"Clearly it is a magic mirror."

"It is actually." He turned the pages to another section of the book he had marked. "So Aletheia is, was, the Goddess of truth and supposedly she had a magic mirror that showed the truth to all who looked into it."

"But she had it covered, so clearly-"

"So did you."

"Because of that woman!"

"Aletheia covered the mirror because she didn't like what she saw."

"Right, the woman."

"No, the truth. She was eating people."

I stood and walked towards the large windows. "You do not know what you are talking about."

"The mirror shows the truth no matter how ugly or how much you hate it. Aletheia hid from it because it reminded her of what she had become. A monster."

"You are wrong."

"A warrior doesn't hide from the truth. A warrior embraces it and stands tall!"

"How dare you? I accepted the truth a long time ago. I did not hide from it."

"Accepted what truth?" Griffith stood.

"That I am not a-an amazon."

"Why is that?"

"You know why."

"Why aren't you an amazon?"

"Because I am not a woman!"

"And that's the truth?"

"Of course it is. Look at me."

"You accepted it?" he stepped closer to me.

"I have."

"Then look in the mirror." He was barely a foot away now.

"No!"

"Why not?" My breath became shallower as I tried to focus.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"What are you twelve?"

"Answer me. Why don't you want to look in the mirror?"

"I already told you. It hurts."

"What kind of hurt?"

"What do you mean?"

"There is all manner of hurt, physical, emotional, mental. What kind of hurt?"

"I do not know."

"Look at the mirror and maybe you'll be able to describe it." He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his bedroom. To the mirror.

"No!" I tore my hand free. "It hurts to even think about."

"Where?"

I patted my chest, trying to catch my breath. "If I look at her again.."

"Her? Not the mirror?"

"Yes, her! She is so beautiful and happy and a true amazon. Everything I am not no matter how hard I wish I were!"

"You wished you were an amazon or you wished you were a woman?"

"What does it matter?"

"One is the truth and one is not."

"I.."

"If you could be given one wish right now would you wish to be an amazon or wish to be her?"

"I..There is no point to-"

"Don't give me that! You live in a world with Gods and magic, and Gods who bring people to life out of clay. So don't lie to me and say you don't-"

"Of course I would! I wished for years, pledged my eternal servitude to any God that would fix me but none came!" I thought I would feel better when I finally said it out loud. Only I felt like the same sobbing little boy on bended knee in Hera's temple. "I accepted the truth that this is the way the Gods made me."

"Is it the truth?"

"Look at me, of course it is."

Griffith walked away sitting back on the couch. "There are truths and then there are truths. You were born male for true, but you are not male."

"You realize those two statements contradict one another, yes?"

"You'll find that happens a lot." Griffith ran his finger over his phone. "If you were all alone on that island and no one mocked you for being male, no amazons, no one saying you couldn't be an amazon because of what's between your legs...would you still wish to be a girl?"

The thought of running along the beaches of Themyscira as a girl filled me with the same happiness I felt looking into the mirror. "..I would." But like the mirror, reality came crashing back in and I was left with a deep sadness.

"There is someone I want you to speak to. A doctor."

"I am not ill."

Griffith furiously ran his hands through his hair once again. "It's not that simple. She's not that kind of doctor. She specializes in cases like yours."

"How do you know this doctor?"

"I don't just sit in my ivory tower you know. I'm what's known as a philanthropist. I get rich people to donate their money to worthy causes and approached me a few years ago, she handles veterans who..wanted to lose themselves in battle, to switch off and be a weapon."

"I will speak with her." I turned back to face the city once more. I wanted to be lost in that city so bad. To 'switch off and be a weapon'.

The rest of the morning went by quickly, I showered and shaved and sure enough, she was not there in the mirror. Strangely I missed her but I dared not look at Aletheia's mirror. On the way, Griffith gave me my phone. I knew somewhat of how the technology worked from my studies my first night and it seemed not only to be a useful tool but a standard for everyone who was part of the world to have. The first thing I did was enter Clark's number into my phone. I briefly wanted to call him but what would I say? I looked around the train car and wondered how relationships work. In Themyscira it was simple, you approach a beautiful girl, compliment her sword technique or her skill with a bow and if she were interested she would offer a personal sparring session. I did not know much about man's world but I felt it did not work this way here.

"How do you make your money?" It was easier to pester Griffith with questions than it was myself.

"I am a highly skilled warrior."

"So your sword's allegiance is to gold?"

"A mercenary? You wound me Amazon, no. There's an entire city built on gambling money on games of chance and sport. I sold what little gold I had for a nice bit of cash, found a fight and bet on the outcome. When I won I did it again, and again, and so on until I had a nice little fortune. Met a nice soldier who did what I do and taught me everything else I needed to know."

He smiled, but I could see the pain behind his eyes. "What happened?"

He faked a smile before looking at me again. "Our stop is coming up." He stood, clutching onto the pole as the train came to a stop. "A few things though, she'll only speak with you alone."

"Why?"

"It's called patient, doctor confidentiality. She won't tell anyone what you say or else she'll lose her license and prohibited from practicing." Griffith could see the look of concern on my face and pulled me closer through the crowd of travelers as we left the tunnel leaving out into the street. "It's to ensure your safety. You can look up rights on your phone later. In that same vein, I told her you were a runaway that I found on the street."

"That's the truth though."

"Yeah, but not the whole truth. Most people aren't ready for someone like you."

"So, I should not tell her the truth?"

"Yes, just not the whole truth. I told you, it's complicated."

Inside 's office was warm and welcoming. I could see why people felt safe opening up to her. Perhaps that was by design. "So." She opened a folder and gave it a strange look. "You're name is Prince?"

"That..is what everyone calls me."

"Well, what do you call yourself?"

"I had not thought about it."

"That's fine." She made some notes in her folder. "Names are tough, sometimes they feel right for a while then they don't. Why don't you start with what brings you here today?"

"Griffith."

She smirked, "He's a great man. I understand he's allowing you to live with him?"

"He is."

"Did he tell you what it is I do?"

"You help soldiers who want to 'check out and become a weapon'."

"I have heard some describe it that way, yes. But why do you think you're here? Do you feel like checking out and being a weapon?"

"Sometimes. I think it would be easier."

"Easier than what?"

"Being me."

"In what way?"

I shuddered, a warrior was not supposed to complain, but I was expected to bare my soul to this woman. "I wish I were a girl." I scoffed, it honestly sounded so stupid to say out loud. "Gods it is so stupid," I mumble under my breath. "Griffith said you could help me switch off."

Her brow furrowed and she set her pen aside, "I think you may have misunderstood. Switching off is the opposite of what I do for patients like you."

"What do you do?"

"Well, I evaluate your situation and give you the tools to handle your situation."

"Why can I not just be empty? It would be better." The pain I felt reminded me why it was better to be empty.

"What about what makes you happy? Would you give that up?"

I thought of my mother, the nights she spent telling me tales of legendary heroes and of the Gods. Training with my aunt. Hunting in the forests. Laying on the beach with Mala, the only one who was my friend. My first kiss. Clark. Griffith, as much as he annoyed me I liked him. "I do not believe I could."

"So, what would make you happy?"

"World peace."

She very obviously did not seem to like my response. "Now, that's a good ideal to have, but what would make you personally happy?"

"I had..a, uh, dream, and I saw this girl in the mirror and she was simply wonderful. She was everything I wanted to be. It made me happy until I woke up and it was worse than before. Because I saw what I wanted more than anything."

We spoke for a long while, according to my phone thirty-five minutes, she asked about my family and childhood and I answered vaguely enough even though it pained me to lie. Amazons were not one to lie, although I could see why the truth me more harm than good. Perhaps that is what killed Aletheia. If the mirror showed her the truth...then why did it show me a lie? It was obviously a lie because I am a male. I began to get frustrated and angry. I should be finding out more about the mirror, not in this woman's office talking about myself. "I have to go," I said suddenly.

"Is something the matter?"

"I do not wish to do this."

"Do what?"

"Talk. I should be doing something, not just talking about unimportant things. I am supposed to be a warrior."

"Talking can be very effective if done correctly. And what makes you believe it's unimportant?" I stood and walked to the door. "If you want to leave I won't stop you, but a warrior faces what he fears, even if yourself."

"What makes you think I am afraid of myself?" I tightened my grip around the brittle copper doorknob.

She seemed more relaxed as she spoke, "Plenty of people are afraid to look within and truly know themselves. It can be very daunting."

"I am not afraid of myself."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because nothing will come of it."

"Come of what?"

"Me." I released the door.

"Let me ask you this, Where do you see yourself in five years."

"On the battlefield."

"Doing what?"

"Fighting of course."

"And after the battle?"

"Train for the next one."

"When does it end?"

"It never ends. Millennia of war and it has never ended, not for mortals or Gods." I did not need to turn around to know she was scribbling in her notepad.

"Soldiers, warriors, fight for the ones back home usually. Do you have anyone now?"

I thought of Clark and mother, and even Griffith, but I would not say I have them. No matter how close I get to any of them there would always be this deep chasm separating us. Separating me from the rest of the world. "No." It struck me how utterly alone I was for perhaps the first time.

"Tell me this, this girl in the mirror. What do you think she would do after the battle's won?"

I did not have to think what she would do because I had imagined it all my life. She would go home to family, swap stories like all other amazons. She would have friends and a family and happiness. And I hated her for it. "A sword, that is all I am. My wants and feelings do not matter. I should never have come here. I wish the Gods had sunk my ship in the ocean. I am sorry for wasting your time." Before she could respond I walked out the door down the long corridor to the lobby where Griffith awaited me.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Find me something to hit."


End file.
